Disclaimer #1: the next person who tells me a horror story about pregnancy, childbirth, or body-issues relating to pregnancy in general is getting a fist to the face. I'm not fucking kidding. Disclaimer #2: I'm (mostly) managing to be polite to people's faces, but it's wearing really. damn. thin. So ranting on LJ seemed more sensible than exploding at the next person who does this. And yes, I trust that there'll be a next one, it's been frequent enough.
Topic of the rant: people are fucking inconsiderate and it's pissing me right the hell off. Basically.
So. People. If there's a pregnant woman in front of you (like, really severely pregnant), you have a few options. You can ask how it's going, you can talk about food/books/movies/politics/cars/sports/culture in general, you can talk about, I dunno, cute baby clothes or whatever else you're excited about that might be relevant to the situation at hand. You know what you can do but really really shouldn't? Go into great detail about everything that can go wrong with pregnancy, about the horrors of childbirth (this includes anything about ripping, tearing, large amounts of bleeding, internal organs being shredded, unbearable pain, and death of either the mother or the child - all of which people have felt was appropriate to tell me about in great detail within the last month. I don't even. What??) So, y'know: don't fucking do that, hmmm? What on EARTH makes you think this is appropriate? Or helpful? Shut up and go sit and think about what you've just said.
Also. It's common knowledge that pregnancy goes about 40 weeks, yes? So if someone has reached 41 weeks, please don't send daily text messages or facebook messages asking if the baby is there yet. If it was, you'd know - trust me, the woman carrying said baby is more impatient to have it out than you are, at that point. So back off. Not helping.
And if a woman is reaching 42 weeks of pregnancy, the doctors will usually start talking about scheduling an induction. At 42 weeks, a) the woman tends to be sick and effing tired of everything hurting (and seriously: it's all pretty ok until about 39 weeks, but at this point everything hurts, ok?) but also b) everything supporting the child (placenta, etc) starts to degrade and the risks to the baby start getting higher, and it tends to be in everyone's best interest to get this done. At that point, can we all please assume that the pregnant woman in question is aware of what's being scheduled? Is making the best decision possible for her body/her child/her circumstances/her family? Is potentially (hypothetically) scared shitless of the entire birthing process, especially when chemically induced, and is still making the best decisions with the information available? So, working with that assumption, could people PLEASE stop going on and on and fucking ON about how induction is SO scary and SO painful and has SO many risks and leads to SO much pain and SO many c-sections? The (relevant) information is known, and your scare tactics are NOT FUCKING HELPING, SO SHUT UP.
Also, just generally speaking: the number of times I've been told that there are (hypothetical, unproven) links between things a pregnant woman can do (take tylenol, take antidepressants, get an induction, etc) and autism is getting mind-boggling. So, until the CAUSE of autism is actually known, could everyone please also shut up about that (and, while we're at it, not talk about vaccinations and autism I can't believe that's still a thing)? And potentially try to keep in mind that, y'know, the woman carrying said child is also supposed to LIVE for 9 months, and that her sole purpose isn't being a chemical-free incubator for that time period? Hmmm?
*grump* |
